Sirius Black plus the Marauders Map equals Trouble
by abc233
Summary: Sirius Black finds a novel way of using the Marauder's Map. RLSB, pay attention to the rating, people!


_**Please **_**pay attention to the rating - it's high for a reason. This was originally going to be a relatively non-sexual story, but you know how Sirius can get... ;) This is probably my most graphic story, so tips and advice are welcomed!!**

**Randy Remus requests a riff raff of raving reviews. **

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**Sirius Black + Marauders Map = Trouble**

Remus Lupin was confused.

It was particularly difficult to confuse one Remus Lupin, as, for a teenage boy, he was pretty well aware of how the world worked. He was never lost (physically or mentally), nor did he fail to follow confusing topics in classes. However, on this particular sunday evening - a rather bland, grey sunday evening - he was, most definitely, confused.

For he was lying on his bed, in just his boxers, looking as seductive as physically possible for a slightly under-fed werewolf, yet he was still the only occupant of the large, warm, candle lit bed. Sighing, the werewolf stood, walking over to his partner's side of the room.

"Sirius?" Remus questioned, looking at the boy sat on the end of his bed.

"Hmm?" The boy hummed, looking up for a moment to touch Remus' face tenderly, before returning to the map once more.

"Why are you staring at the map, when we could be doing far more interesting things?" Remus was direct, climbing on the bed to kneel behind his boyfriend, before wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

"Because this is interesting! Come, sit, Moony, there will be time for sexy stuff later..." Sirius grinned, smacking Remus' thigh playfully.

"Those are words I never thought I'd hear coming from _your_ mouth." Remus raised an eyebrow. "What is oh so interesting that you're willing to pass on sex?"

"Seeing who else is having sexual encounters!" Sirius grinned, thrusting the map towards Remus. "Look, at the map." With a raised eyebrow, Remus leant forward, following Sirius' finger to see him pointing at the close figures of James and Lily. "You see, my darling, we have James and Lily having boring, vanilla sex in the room of requirement -"

"Oh, god, Sirius..." Remus moaned, looking away from the map sharply. "This is a complete invasion of their privacy!"

"Oh shush, you killjoy. Its not like I'm filming them or anything..." Sirius muttered, before perking up once more. "So, if we look over here, in the Slytherin dorms..." Sirius laughed, fingers walking along the map casually.

"Is that..." Remus squinted, curiosity getting the better of him as he leant forward once more to look over Sirius' shoulder, at the two dots literally on top of one another. "Oh Merlin, is that Bellatrix and Narcissa?"

"Don't sound so affronted, Remus! Its 1976, women sleep with women, and the Black family has never really shied away from incest... Keep it in the family." Sirius winked. "God, can you imagine Bella in bed? She'd probably try and bite your dick off!"

"Lovely." Remus sighed, lying back on Sirius' bed in annoyance, realising he wouldn't get any until Sirius had stopped ogling the damned map. "Any more?"

"Snivelly and..."

"Snivelly and...?"

"-RICHARD ABBOTT?"

Remus scoffed. "I don't believe you. For starters, Richard Abbott is partially attractive -"

"You've been eyeing up other men!" Sirius gasped dramatically, clutching a hand to his chest dramatically. "How shall I survive?"

"Well, he's more attractive than Snape, I'm sure you'll agree." Remus amended, climbing up to look at the map again. "There's no way in hell he'd be with - oh."

"'Oh' indeed."

"Have you even considered that maybe they're just standing close to one another? Or working together on a project..." Remus muttered, watching in horror as the dot labeled 'Richard' shifted back and forth rapidly.

"Don't be so naïve, Rem. That is sex if I ever did see it." Sirius grinned, wrapping one arm tightly around Remus' shoulders.

"I can't believe Severus Snape is getting some action and I'm not." Remus huffed, wrapping his own arm around Sirius' waist.

Sirius ignored him, squeezing his shoulder lightly before using his other hand as a pointer. "Vanilla sex, vanilla sex, vanilla sex - oh, I didn't know that Alice and Frank were together, that's nice - vanilla sex -"

"We could have some nice chocolate or strawberry sex instead?" Remus muttered, smattering kisses along Sirius' jaw and being rewarded with a guttural moan. "See? I know you want it..."

"Its only been an hour since we last got it on, Rem..." Sirius moaned as Remus' hand danced along the buttons on his shirt, reaching in to tease at the skin he found beneath.

"Exactly." Remus keened, nibbling at Sirius' neck with a smile. "A whole hour without you..."

"I don't have the wolfy bouncebackability, Moons. I need a little more ti-_oh._" Sirius' hips bucked upwards traitorously as he spoke, before he shucked Remus off. Huffing, Remus climbed up the bed to rest against the pillows.

Sirius picked up the map once more, taking a moment to compose himself before continuing from where he'd finished. "- and over here, things get far more interesting. Look in the library, at Slughorn and my Minnie! He's probably sodomising her, you know how darling Minnie loves that." Sirius said casually, looking up at Remus for a moment and looking straight back down when he spotted the annoyed, smouldering glare Remus was directing at him. "I do worry about ol' Minnie's sex drive. Sooner or later the menopause has got to hit..."

"I'll tell you what's far more worrying. You're choosing to fantasise about two of our teachers instead of getting your butt over here and sodomising your damn boyfriend." Sirius smirked, looking up at his boyfriend with a smile.

"God, I love it when you're all desperate and horny like this..." Sirius grinned, crawling across the bed to hover above Remus, throwing the map onto his bedside table.

"And I hate it when you're a fucking tease." Remus growled, rolling the pair of them over, stripping Sirius of his shirt in the process. The trousers and boxers followed quickly after. "And trust me, Sirius Black, I will have you desperate and horny within seconds." Sirius moaned deliciously, reaching up to drag Remus into a kiss. Pulling away, Sirius ran his hands down his partner's bare arms.

"You, Remus Lupin, still have far too many layers on..." Sirius grinned, virtually ripping his boxers off.

Grabbing Sirius' hands, Remus pinned them aside, before grinning at his disgruntled friend and sliding his other hand down, casting a quick lubrication spell on the way.

"I thought you said I got to do the sodomising today!" Sirius groaned as Remus' long fingers circled his entrance, before one finger slipped in tantalisingly and Sirius turned into a gibbering mess.

"What were you saying?" Remus grinned, hooking his finger up slightly. "Teasepots don't get to do anything..."

"Moooonyy!" Sirius' hips rolled, and he grabbed at Remus' shoulders. "Please..."

"Please what, Sirius?" Remus introduced another finger, watching with satisfaction as Sirius' head lolled back, mouth gasping for air. Leaning over to Sirius ear, he whispered. "Do you want me to sodomise you?"

"Gods yes!" Sirius heaved as Remus curled his fingers again, never failing to find that oh so sweet spot after months of practice. "Remus, Moony, please..."

"And are you going to be thinking of McGonnagal or Snape whilst I do these sinful things to you?" Remus whispered sharply into his ear, flicking a nipple teasingly. Remus grinned into Sirius' neck, shuffling down his body slowly.

"No, gods no, please..." Remus smirked at the use of 'please', remembering the hours of 'training' he'd had to use to get the pureblood to use such pleasantries... Though he had a habit of overusing it nowadays which was rather endearing.

"If you want something, Sirius, you're going to have to be more specific." Remus smirked, breath spreading over Sirius' shaft as fingers tickled lightly.

"Mouth... Remus, please..." Remus rolled his eyes, before acquiescing. He continued to prepare his partner, running his tongue along the underside of his shaft as Sirius groaned and keened.

"Moony, I'm ready." Sirius panted, pulling his boyfriend upwards and kissing him soundly. Lining himself up, Remus pushed in, waiting for Sirius to adjust. As soon as Sirius nodded, he moved, releasing a low feral growl as he felt Sirius tense around him.

The two of them set a steady rhythm, both of their moans and lustful groans filling the dormitory, Sirius stretching up to drag Remus into a heated kiss. They were soaring, Sirius could feel himself getting closer and closer and _oh-so-very-close-is-that-Jesus _and then -

And then, Remus stopped, propping his weight on his elbows as he grinned down at his partner.

"Remus! What!! Remus!!" Sirius moaned, grasping Remus' hips tightly. "I'm so close!"

"Teasepots don't get to do anything." Remus smirked, his muscles pulsing and quivering painfully as he waited until Sirius looked sufficiently desperate.

"Remus!" Sirius squirmed, trying hopelessly to loosen his hands or move his hips, anything for some friction. Giving up, he leant up, kissing Remus desperately. "Darling, please, I love you, please." Grinning, Remus thrust just once, balancing all his weight on one arm to drop his hand to Sirius' shaft and stroke slowly.

"Oh that... glorious... again..." Sirius moaned, kissing anything he could reach. Remus repeated his actions, leaning down to nip and bite at Sirius' neck, changing the angle ever so slightly and making Sirius see stars.

Three more pushes shoved Sirius into the deep end, crying out as one of the best orgasms of his life washed through him. Feeling Remus follow seconds later, he grinned, looking up at his parter wondrously.

"I love you, you bloody rotten tease." Sirius smiled, wrapping his arms tightly around Remus neck and kissing his nose.

"And I love you, you silly pervert." Remus grinned, kissing his partner on the mouth soundly.

Remus rolled off Sirius, smiling contently as he lay aside him, their fingers entwining between them. They lay in silence for a moment, just staring at one another, before Sirius grinned, untangling their hands and grabbing something madly.

"Look, Moony! Sluggy and Minnie are still going at it! I knew the ol' girl still had it in her!"


End file.
